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oh well it grows into u i guess..esp when u stay in a place..or have someone around u.. for a while?
and ukraine hits the cross bar :oS..yeah seems like its the azzuris night..
but yeah funny aint it?given enuf time..like it or not..we do get attached to ppl or places..or anythin for that matter?..i mean it might mean we might really dislike smthin..or like it?..or both?the gray area?..
i really find it hard to throw away things..but well one thing i been for a while now..is kinda like a nomad?(arent we all?)..we cant take everythin we get in a diff place..experiences..and of cos 'logic' tells that to us?..yet why is it so hard to throw away some things?esp from the deep past!and isnt it said..in time we will get over smthin?well to some point that it doesnt hurt?..not that im hurtin hehe..im talkin more in terms of..u know frens..good frens that have come in me life..played a big part in shapin me and me being who i am right now..who still makes me wanna try be smthin nice..tho how i will be?only time will tell?and yeah..tho i might be pretty shiit now(and frens might not really be too happy thinkin they played a part in me being the way who i am now?;oP hehe)..the point is..well..they(those memories) makes me think positive..as in u know..i feel its more positive and negative..arent we all glad of the memories we have?..and when in time..funnily..we do seem to remember only the good feelns..hurt only comes when we miss that good old days?..well i like to be believe so..i mean there were some incidents in the past..smthings happened..and it didnt feel good.thats why me and those frens of mine..we aint in contact anymore..but i seriously cant feel or remember the feeln of being hurt by those incidents..all that comes..is the good feelns of havin them around then..im sure i aint the only one who feels this way?am i?:oS hehe
anyways let me not hog the 'bathroom' hehe..i think i been here for a while..and u shud see how me frens gives me the 'eye' when i stay in a bathroom for a while wahahaha...but yeah i guess..i just love being there :oD..its peaceful :oD...but not so peaceful when someone else knocks!!or someone is waitin outside to use it!!!arghhhhh!!!freakn rush!!!all me peace is gone when that freakn rush comes!!
still need to shiiit..i think..i mean there are things i wanna get it out of me..have been thinkin for a while now(and oh these days i do like to believe i let meself think when im doin nothn!when i need a rest!!!but yeah smtimes when u need to shiit/think..it just happens..how much u try to control?:oS hehe)
but yeah..a close fren of mine..(well 4 yrs pf spendin time with him ..esp when u come into a strange land..and dunno anyone..)just left yest..met up yest..had a drink and a real good chat..and funny..whenever we are about to say bye..when we know we have to say bye..all the good thots..good feelns comes?..well had watched the dvd 'actually love'(errr is that the title?hehe) few days ago..and believe me..i left that for the last!!not cos savin the best for the last!!had wanted to watch all the dvds that another fren had..before he too left(and yes he left yest too..to another state..tho cant really say he is a good fren..as in close..duh!cant get close with all can we?;oP hehe..but he is one of those nice ppl around..kinda had good times when he was around..)
anyways where was i?;oP hehe..oh yah..the movie..hehe..the way it started..well watch it!!i dunno how to explain!!but i guess it made me think..cos its kinda true aint it?when we know the end is loomin..what comes in our mind and thots?only good thots..of ppl we love?that made us feel loved?..etc?..hatred and other things is the last thing in our mind?tho of cos if frustration comes ..its cos the end is loomin?and that meanst..we be separated from the things and ppl we love?...
anyways...well he left..and we dun even know if we will ever get to meet..but we both know we will try?..if we get the chance..that is if we dun change too drastically :oS...but yeah..u can say...that was a moment with him..that well..made me feel a lot better..cos yeah i have frustrated him too many times..and he has done the same to me tho of cos i like to believe im the one who gives more frustration :oS..me frens can vouch for that..ask them ;oP hehe but yeah..in the end..he said smthings..(which i wont share..duh! ;oP hehe..i dun wanna show me already big..and now extra swollen nhaak wahahah ;oP hehe)..well which made me feel..he did know..those frustrations he got from me..i didnt really mean to frustrate him..and yap in the end..it feels good to know i do care for him..and he cares for me too :oD..dyam doesnt it feel good to be cared?and knowin u r cared?;oP hehe..anyways he has motivated me to do smthings..so i better be doin those things asap!:@...
for now..i think i shudnt indulge meself shittin here hehe..feeln a bit weird thinkin ppl will get ewwwy with me shiits here..but duh!dun we all shiit?;oP hehe..
and yeah..next time i try to shiit..privately!!!;oP hehe..where less ppl knows thats me 'shiit'?;oP hehe...
but one thing which made me feel good..i guesss..he made me realise..he does consider me a good fren..like i feel the same way ...seen and experienced too many times..havin good frens goin away..separating..and us all changin..but life goes on eh?..as they say..dun sulk for wats gone...rejoice that it happened!!!...the good old days!!woohoooo!!:oD hehe..hah arent we scared of gettn attached?esp when nothn is forever?..but then again dun we long for that?wahahahaa...i dunno!!
and better be off before im late again!!wahahaahahah ;oP im telln u!!someone invent a thot machine!!(im too incapable for that :oS..duh!!im not being pessimistic!!im being realistic!!!!ok ok i shud give it a try shudnt i?cos in the end..when one tries their best..and it aint good enuf..its kinda frustrating..but knowin one tried..against all odds/doubts/pessimism?..well the tryn feeln makes u feel lik a winner doesnt it ;o)..dun ask me!!try!!and find out!!!while i try to do the same?re kya ;o) hehe)and im askn/pleadin here ;o)..so yeah!!thot machine pls!!!typin out thots is just so hard :oS..hehe
happy shiitin ppl!:oD..
and good luck there!:oD...and good luck to me too hehe..duh!;oP..can we humans ever stop thinkin about ourselves 1st?;oP hehe..
*gone*
[ posted by
anonymous @
04:04 PM ] | Viewed: 1385 times
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