Sajha.com

Music Video:MY HUMPS (by Black Eyed Peas)

Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone

   [ posted by chain smoker @ 06:12 PM ] | Viewed: 1682 times [ Feedback]

GOD knew that everyone needs
Companionship and cheer,
He knew that people need someone
Whose thoughts are always near.

He knew they need someone kind
To lend a helping hand.
Someone to gladly take the time
To care and understand.

GOD knew that we all need someone
To share each happy day,
To be a source of courage
When troubles come our way.

Someone to be true to us,
Whether near or far apart.
Someone whose love we'll always
Hold and treasure in our hearts.

That's Why GOD Gave Us Friends!

   [ posted by prakash2063 @ 10:27 PM ] | Viewed: 1458 times [ Feedback]

hah!couldnt think of a better "headline" :oS...i mean come to think of it..its actually meaningful?say it is so!:o( hehe ...i mean just think of it.."there he pooots again"(which shud be noted how inconsequental and lame it might sound..that it is actually happenin!hehe)the metaphoric value it might have!!!;oP hehe..

i mean u know u do it too!!dun u?smtimes loudly!smtimes quietly?yes those silent killers!:o| deadly arent they!!:o| hehe...anyways good for me im experiencin pretty louds one..if u not im sure u could imagine how much torture i might be tolerating to sit and type here?and that too for wat?;oP hehe

well just felt like i needed to type(which if anyone wanna jot down..anyone?;oP hehe...i do feel like i need to type nearly everyday!:o) hehe but of cos i dun really let meself do that do i?not as much i would love to..feel like i need to?tryn to control and feeln one does manage to some level just feels so refreshing!:oD hehe)...must be the time..must the things thats happenin around..must be well..enuf of that shiit?hehe..

seriously we always want to have explanations for everything?(btw i just heard me housemate eatin his late supper..hah!im gettn nervous!!i really dun like the feelns i feel..knowin they do point out to me that i do seem to be able to type a lot of things..basically just one of the many things i do that is waste of time?hehe...and also..well the sight of me doin smthin related to 'sajha'..they just cant well..u know understand?;oP hehe..dunno how they would have reacted when i really used to let meself type and hang around a lot here ..back then?hehe..

*pooot* hah(im gonna type that as it happens!;oP hehe)

but yeah i try to focus for now..tho i just feel a bit awkward knowin me housemate might just come up here hearin me typin..and givin me that look ..u know that look..when they see me typin..and eureka!in SAJHA!;oP hehe...urghh :oS...

but yeah guess feelns and things does build up on us..smtimes we dun realise?and i guess for now i def need to get things out..guess its kinda true?(if u see it from me way)..that if a person is happy..he/she wont really be typin/writing?esp about things that doesnt mean anything?...well thats how adrian mole finished up his diaries..he stopped writing..cos he went to concentrate of fixing the things in his life he needed to do..writing his diary just made him feel better..and run away from his problems?not facing them?but when he started facing them and started workn them out..he stopped writing?(of cos sue townsend had to give a good reason why there wont be any more diaries about adrian mole hehe..she wanted to end it cos she wasnt sure how long her health will last ..and how long she can go..guess she did wanted to give it an end..a closure?cos we always long for a closure dun we?..hopefully shes feeln quite well..cant believe she actually went blind..a person who has such a talent..who u know just could do so much things while havin her eyes..so much more things that most of us ever could do how much we tried?..but hey smtimes we cant choose can we?actually can we choose most of the times?hehe..dun have as much choices as we would like?hehe)

*poooot*...*pooooooooot* hah!that was a short and then a really long one :o| hehe...

i guess i always felt it..when i realised i can actually type too much bhakwash..and can just carry on and on..(if i wanted to?if i let meself to?)that i really wanted to be able to stop..stop once and for all..cos if i be able to do that..i just be able to do other things..things well that im not sure wat they might be..but def be more busy in things..may be get more focused..oh wat i want to do..u know aims and such etc...but for now..lets see..if adrian has stopped!i guess i can try!he ispires me!;oP hehe...guess some of meself in his character..of being thick and dreamin a bit too much hehe..of cos always realised some of those things..but seeing an example..well feels a bit better not to feel so alone re kya ;oP hehe..hah!salla narcist!(telln meself hehe)

but yeah actually needed to get this news out..hah!news?im hopin no one reads this..i dun really wanna type in a private blog..dun wanna get into that habit again..and of cos im scared of being too public?i mean never liked too much crowd :oD...but yeah..i guess i didnt know what to think..when my fren called me downstairs..thot he wanted help him..since he had volunteered to cook..

but he had some other thing to share..one dai had just called him to let him know some news..not good news..another dai..tht we grew up with durin our childhood..well he had passed away few days ago...in anothr country...and well not any accident etc..which was totally unexpected by anyone!and to think he was only like 3-4 yrs older than me!!and he had such an infectious laughter and all!and i didnt really used to call him dai..when i used to hang out..well just call his name...not that a close fren(cos duh!i was a kid!;oP hehe)..but then again...felt close enuf to not really call him a dai(i find calln someone dai a bit too formal!yes im wrong most prob!but i only call someone a dai..when i really dunno the person!or errr..if i really know him too well and respect him as a dai?and not as fren?;oP hehe)...well when i heard it from my fren....dun think i really felt anythin..im still hopin im stilld dreamin..and when i wake up..it was just a dream...

*poooooot* *pooooot* *pooot* *poot* *poot* hehe..and its startin to smell!:o| hehe..

right now..in this mood..i just cant stop thinkin the last time we had some contact..me was stressed as i always am?:oS hehe...and wat do u know..i get this hi5 mssg in my email..and the dai had sent me a mssg..so went to read wat he had left me..and guess wat?hah!(havent really conversed with him that much..well i dun think i shown him me irritating ways in writing hehe..like right now?hehe)..anyways he had left a mssg sayn...are u "anonymous' in sajha? and some other stuffs...and i was like wtf!:o| he goes to sajha too!and how the hell did he figure it out?:o| i mean i didnt write much to him few mths back..and im sure i was as formal as i can be ;oP....

kinda was shocked..but in some ways..i guess i was feeln happy..cos he did "notice" me!not cos i wanted to be noticed?but he just did!(lets not get into the part if he noticed the irritating part of me hehe)u know wat im tryn to say?i really dun wanna say some kinda words..i feel it might sound too lame..i find it pretty amusing when i feel wat i said was lame..and someone else actually compliments me for tht?:oS..its just bloody words bhaney!!!!!!

anyways u wanna know smthin else?(not like i care if u wanna know!as tho i believe anyone when they say they wanna know from me!;oP hehe)i guess i hate this thing about me...hate it so bad..tho sometimes i realise i actually like this thing about me too(no wonder they say hate and love is separated by a really thin line?)...the thing that..i actually still seem to be grinnin or seeing some funny side in things we shudnt be grinnin about?esp not so good news?...yap i do long for that moment when i meself will say yes!im being serious!and i can be serious!u know totally serious!!!!

anyways yeah think im feeln some seriousness now hehe..cos i just wanna keep quiet!(sleep has been lost!and to think i need to wake up in another 5 hrs time?:o| and was feeln so sleepy the whole evenin cos of the lack of sleep yest?:oS)but yeah funny how much we really take things for granted..and always will take things for granted?but i guess thats how we are...if we didnt take things for granted..well when and if we lose it..we wont feel so much loss if we hadnt taken it for granted in the 1st place?

me own worries feels so inconsequential right now...i mean they are still in me mind..but i dunno..im not really worryn much about them right now..i cant stop feeln and thinkin that if i worry bout them right now..i actually will start to feel guilty for actually worryn about them!cos yeah!wat about the the dai who wont be around!well not around for those whom he mattered!hah!wat about the thousands others who just deceased today!which wasnt expected by their loved ones?hah!!!ok enuf of thinkn!!!!

goodnight!!!!!!
and yeah!im not happy!and i dun think i will ever be!or want to be!but wat im pissed about..and really hate about meself is fukkkkk!!!i seem to try and be satisfied!!call it subconciously!!or conciously!!!but i just cant stop to feel so much at peace smtimes..tho of cos there be times when hell breaks loose!!!!!hehe...but yeah!i will try not to be satisfied!!not to easily!!!!hopefully!!!wish me good luck!!!:oD

and good luck to you all!:oD
(achi janey maan pani harayo!!!pooot pani harayo!!!phet pani at peace now!darn this mind over matter!!!!had been waitin to see when will i go to the achiroom!!cos i feel so much at peace there!hehe)


_____________________________________________________(the space is for all the things i really wanted to type..cos duh!wanna let them out!!!but i wont cos lack of time and of cos i wont let meself ;oP hehe...and yeah just cos the blank space looks short..use ur imagination!!!microscopic letters!!!hehe)

*gone to sleep...but im sure i will wake up in the middle of the night to finish wat i pooted wahahahah ;oP and good luck again!u survivor!;o) hehe*

   [ posted by anonymous @ 12:41 PM ] | Viewed: 1607 times [ Feedback]

I read an enquiry about how to renew the passport in US. Here is what you do. Download the application form from Nepal Embassy website. The form is in Nepalil language. Print it. Fill that up with 2 passport size recent photos. Use an envelope big enough to contain your passport and related documents. The document must contain a return full self addressed envelope too and the fee required by the Nepal Embassy. Go to the post office, get it weighed with your passport and other documents inside it. Also ask the postal clerk to give you an approximate weight of your self addressed envelope with two passports inside as the Embassy returns your old passport too. Buy the postal ticket for sending your application with your expired current passport and other set of postal tickets for fixing on the return envlope. The Embassy does not bear the postal cost for sending back your new and old passport. Once you post your application to the Embassy you have to wait till you get back your self addressed envelope with your two passports inside.

The writer is not an expert in doing this procedure but he is writing this out of his past experience when the Embassy was very helpful. I hope the concerned Nepalese living in US will find this useful.

   [ posted by Jiwan K. Pradhan @ 10:34 PM ] | Viewed: 1271 times [ Feedback]

hehe..

ok enuf yappin..more than enuf?;oP hehe

dun be spooked!there is always smthin weirder/freakier out there(consolin meself? ;oP hehe)

anyways time to give the black widow a proper burial? :oS..i mean instead throwin it into the rubbish bin!throw it into the garden!and let it decompose back to mother earth!(i mean why let it go thru the long path?thru the bin to the dumptruck and then onto the dumping ground..back to earth?or shud i cremate it?let it go back to the air?they do burn rubbish they collect too dun they?;oP ) yeah im that free? :oS hehe

dun let the sun down on me..
altho i search myself..its someone else i see..
i just allow a fragment of ur life to wander free..
but losin everythn is like the sun goin down on me...


good day!:oD

ps the dark clouds are hovering away ;o) hehe..hopefully the sun will come back tho its still cloudy :oS

*gone*

   [ posted by anonymous @ 09:13 PM ] | Viewed: 1370 times [ Feedback]

Poverty And System Fault


Raj K Pandey (Mobile: 98510 86884)


The root-cause of poverty is an outcome of system fault in a nation that is the cumulative by-product of negligence of state authorities. In the context of Nepal, today’s our overall problems are the consequences of yesterday’s solutions. When the weakest groups of the people asked us to listen, we started giving them advice. When they initiated for a positive change, we stopped and warned them that they should not act on that way. We trampled on their feelings, when they wished to work within the system. We enforced our vested interests to solve their problems and we failed them particularly after unification of Nepal.



All we were asked were: we should, at least, respect them; value them; accept them as human beings and let them also survive with us. But, we ignored their feelings; killed their emotions; suppressed their voices and excluded their survival rights, too. Nothing, however, remains the same forever in this world and it eventually brings ups and downs. Consequently, the suppressed group of the people talked loudly; the slept downtrodden class of people wake-up; the seated helpless poor people stand-up and weakest rural people become the strongest, when they knew that they can do anything for themselves; they are not helpless; may be discouraged and faltered. The Maoist insurgency fueled the movements in Nepal, which is an outcome of poverty, system fault and social exclusion among the rural communities.



Finally, they lifted the aged old chains and choose their lives in different way-do or die! They converted themselves into the Maoist. These groups of strongly determined worriers can hardly do good for others, who even do not care for themselves.



Now, imagine, how unsecured we are to live in such a conflicting circumstances. So, either we must find a proper way or make it one to overcome them by bringing all excluded into the mainstream politics of the country. Let’s, therefore, wage another effective war together, which may be last one but the best one. And, all the minorities and marginalized group of people should be included into nation building process by providing them greater opportunities for active participation for the rural development of Nepal.



To change others, we first of all, should alter ourselves and use our creative approaches to the problems and the opportunities. For this, we should learn from our previous mistakes and thoroughly understand our self. If our goal is superior, we must be target oriented and never compromise with the missions and the visions for the backward community development of the country.



To solve the Maoist problem in Nepal, the government including we should always consider the excluded people. Listen their voices before judging; guide those, who are misdirected; maintain a liberal attitude and give them values as human and citizen of Nepal. Just accept and respect them; facilitate to their positive actions. We should not fear with the failures, fear only with the possible absence of our inner willpower to work with them even in the future. We should do our constant karma; the consequences are beyond our direct control. We must teach them; love them; laugh with them and live with them. We all should think from them; learn from them and get approval from them.



We must exchange with each-others, what we have and appreciate theirs, which they made. Slowly, they will also acknowledge us as their friends. Then, we all will be the actual conqueror. Then the government should mobilize them for a desired change at local level. The poverty, in this way, may be reduced and the anti-human forces - terrorisms can be alleviated.



The writer is involving with the rural developmental sector in Nepal since 1990 and he is also a Master Level Student of Rural Development at TU. He can be reach through:


Raj K. Pandey

Mobile: (977-01) 98510 86884

GPO BOX: 19862

Kathmandu (Nepal)

E-mail: rajkpandey2000@hotmail.com

rajkpandey2000@yahoo.com

   [ posted by Rajkpandey2000 @ 06:50 AM ] | Viewed: 1602 times [ Feedback]

hehe..

*gone*

   [ posted by anonymous @ 08:49 AM ] | Viewed: 1471 times [ Feedback]

oh well it grows into u i guess..esp when u stay in a place..or have someone around u.. for a while?

and ukraine hits the cross bar :oS..yeah seems like its the azzuris night..

but yeah funny aint it?given enuf time..like it or not..we do get attached to ppl or places..or anythin for that matter?..i mean it might mean we might really dislike smthin..or like it?..or both?the gray area?..

i really find it hard to throw away things..but well one thing i been for a while now..is kinda like a nomad?(arent we all?)..we cant take everythin we get in a diff place..experiences..and of cos 'logic' tells that to us?..yet why is it so hard to throw away some things?esp from the deep past!and isnt it said..in time we will get over smthin?well to some point that it doesnt hurt?..not that im hurtin hehe..im talkin more in terms of..u know frens..good frens that have come in me life..played a big part in shapin me and me being who i am right now..who still makes me wanna try be smthin nice..tho how i will be?only time will tell?and yeah..tho i might be pretty shiit now(and frens might not really be too happy thinkin they played a part in me being the way who i am now?;oP hehe)..the point is..well..they(those memories) makes me think positive..as in u know..i feel its more positive and negative..arent we all glad of the memories we have?..and when in time..funnily..we do seem to remember only the good feelns..hurt only comes when we miss that good old days?..well i like to be believe so..i mean there were some incidents in the past..smthings happened..and it didnt feel good.thats why me and those frens of mine..we aint in contact anymore..but i seriously cant feel or remember the feeln of being hurt by those incidents..all that comes..is the good feelns of havin them around then..im sure i aint the only one who feels this way?am i?:oS hehe

anyways let me not hog the 'bathroom' hehe..i think i been here for a while..and u shud see how me frens gives me the 'eye' when i stay in a bathroom for a while wahahaha...but yeah i guess..i just love being there :oD..its peaceful :oD...but not so peaceful when someone else knocks!!or someone is waitin outside to use it!!!arghhhhh!!!freakn rush!!!all me peace is gone when that freakn rush comes!!

still need to shiiit..i think..i mean there are things i wanna get it out of me..have been thinkin for a while now(and oh these days i do like to believe i let meself think when im doin nothn!when i need a rest!!!but yeah smtimes when u need to shiit/think..it just happens..how much u try to control?:oS hehe)

but yeah..a close fren of mine..(well 4 yrs pf spendin time with him ..esp when u come into a strange land..and dunno anyone..)just left yest..met up yest..had a drink and a real good chat..and funny..whenever we are about to say bye..when we know we have to say bye..all the good thots..good feelns comes?..well had watched the dvd 'actually love'(errr is that the title?hehe) few days ago..and believe me..i left that for the last!!not cos savin the best for the last!!had wanted to watch all the dvds that another fren had..before he too left(and yes he left yest too..to another state..tho cant really say he is a good fren..as in close..duh!cant get close with all can we?;oP hehe..but he is one of those nice ppl around..kinda had good times when he was around..)

anyways where was i?;oP hehe..oh yah..the movie..hehe..the way it started..well watch it!!i dunno how to explain!!but i guess it made me think..cos its kinda true aint it?when we know the end is loomin..what comes in our mind and thots?only good thots..of ppl we love?that made us feel loved?..etc?..hatred and other things is the last thing in our mind?tho of cos if frustration comes ..its cos the end is loomin?and that meanst..we be separated from the things and ppl we love?...


anyways...well he left..and we dun even know if we will ever get to meet..but we both know we will try?..if we get the chance..that is if we dun change too drastically :oS...but yeah..u can say...that was a moment with him..that well..made me feel a lot better..cos yeah i have frustrated him too many times..and he has done the same to me tho of cos i like to believe im the one who gives more frustration :oS..me frens can vouch for that..ask them ;oP hehe but yeah..in the end..he said smthings..(which i wont share..duh! ;oP hehe..i dun wanna show me already big..and now extra swollen nhaak wahahah ;oP hehe)..well which made me feel..he did know..those frustrations he got from me..i didnt really mean to frustrate him..and yap in the end..it feels good to know i do care for him..and he cares for me too :oD..dyam doesnt it feel good to be cared?and knowin u r cared?;oP hehe..anyways he has motivated me to do smthings..so i better be doin those things asap!:@...

for now..i think i shudnt indulge meself shittin here hehe..feeln a bit weird thinkin ppl will get ewwwy with me shiits here..but duh!dun we all shiit?;oP hehe..

and yeah..next time i try to shiit..privately!!!;oP hehe..where less ppl knows thats me 'shiit'?;oP hehe...

but one thing which made me feel good..i guesss..he made me realise..he does consider me a good fren..like i feel the same way ...seen and experienced too many times..havin good frens goin away..separating..and us all changin..but life goes on eh?..as they say..dun sulk for wats gone...rejoice that it happened!!!...the good old days!!woohoooo!!:oD hehe..hah arent we scared of gettn attached?esp when nothn is forever?..but then again dun we long for that?wahahahaa...i dunno!!


and better be off before im late again!!wahahaahahah ;oP im telln u!!someone invent a thot machine!!(im too incapable for that :oS..duh!!im not being pessimistic!!im being realistic!!!!ok ok i shud give it a try shudnt i?cos in the end..when one tries their best..and it aint good enuf..its kinda frustrating..but knowin one tried..against all odds/doubts/pessimism?..well the tryn feeln makes u feel lik a winner doesnt it ;o)..dun ask me!!try!!and find out!!!while i try to do the same?re kya ;o) hehe)and im askn/pleadin here ;o)..so yeah!!thot machine pls!!!typin out thots is just so hard :oS..hehe

happy shiitin ppl!:oD..

and good luck there!:oD...and good luck to me too hehe..duh!;oP..can we humans ever stop thinkin about ourselves 1st?;oP hehe..

*gone*

   [ posted by anonymous @ 04:04 PM ] | Viewed: 1385 times [ Feedback]

hehe

good evenin!:oD hope i can read those posts/articles later!!yes it feels good to have hope!!WOOHOOOOO!!!:oD hehe

*gone*

   [ posted by anonymous @ 03:57 AM ] | Viewed: 1523 times [ Feedback]

duh!as tho i didnt realise that when i chose to type here instead of goin for dinner or watch the world cup hehe..

seriously this is but wastin time!and database space?hehe..but i guess its me time..so pls pls pls...dun judge too fast..do try hard not to ;o)...as long as ur not wastin ur time..its all good hoina?dun get frustrated cos of me!!the last thing i wanna do is frustrate ppl!!but yeah!!ironically i seem to be good in that and seem to do that to everyone!!!esp around me!!!!!

good night!!and gawd im glad i didnt type 4 hrs ago!!cos im sure i wouldnt have allowed meself to submit those things i typed then!it was not gonna be so chirpy ;o) hehe....im sure u know wat i mean..u felt those things..which ur scared to share with others ..cos yeah its already scary feeln it..tryn to share that with others..it scares u to scare them?or worse..they dun understand?hah!we and our expectations!!will we never expect!!!!!i guess we all know the answer to that dun we ...or do we think we know..?or do we really know?;oP hehe..

there will be sorrow..
yeah there will be sorrow..
and there will be sorrow...no more!!!(cos end will come?;o)..dun fret?;oP hehe...and yeah imagined anything?if u tried readin this?wahahahaa...anyways tomorrow ke huncha herum..if tomorrow comes eh?;oP hehe good luck!:oD...)

ps..i stopped cos i decided to!not cos i ran out of things to say!wahahaha scary aint it?:oS hehe..duh!!!ke scary!!u can type more!!if u let urself!!u know it!!!but u chose not to?hyaa :oS..someone type bhhaney!!!eklai katti type garney!:@ bore huncha!:@ :o( hehe..
*gone*

   [ posted by anonymous @ 09:24 AM ] | Viewed: 1492 times [ Feedback]

hehe(cant believe im here again!:o|)

its 7.00am and kinda thot might as well type smthing..cos nothn else seems to interest me right now..even watchn the match Mexico Vs Angola was an effort..1stly cos i hadnt really been wantin/plannin to watch that match..and yes it was quite a dull match!(but dun believe me!!it might be dull for me cos i wasnt interested?does take a rocket scietist to realise that what we enjoy are mostly the things we have intest/related in?;oP hehe)

that was just an opinion of cos ..its funny how sometimes we actually end up enjoyn doin somethings that we never had given even a thot or a chance..isnt it?..get wat i mean?hehe how was i ever to know typin bhakwash(things in me mind) would be 'enjoyable' to me!!wahahaaha..typing gives those thots a voice i guess...and which means it gets out..and once it gets out..there be out of me system?..which means less bhakwash in me?but then again who am i kiddn!but meself?;oP hehe...im a natural bhakwash machine!!im sure i will stop 'makin' them next time..hope so!!*kneels down*(not to pray!!hehe actin ke ;oP hehe)

anyways im sure lots of other ppl out there must be feeln like me too..u know those bout of tiredness..where all u can do is just lie/sit down and stare into oblivion?energising?recharging?..the sporadic sleep one gets these days due to the world cup(any other reason?)..

woke up at 5am ..and no!not cos i wanted to!i really wanted to skip this match!..but funnily ..i fell alseep watchn Argentina Vs Serbia!!!yes i missed all the freakn goals!!!6 of them!!!:o| i missed the 1st one as i was upstairs watchn dvd with frens(texas chainsaw massacre anyone?cant really remember the original..but wasnt the original scarier?)..even up there i was contemplating if i shud go downstairs to watch the argentina vs serbia match(im a neutral for these teams u see..)..esp since me frens were gonna carry on watchn more dvds(the freakn insensitive ppl they are about football!:@ ;oP hehe)..yeah kinda chose football...(had consoled meself that the dvds are there to be rented and always wil be there ;oP hehe..tho i think one was a comedy..and of cos when its comedy!i drool!i mean if its kinda me comedy..wat is me kind?if i could explain i would!!;oP hehe..guess its a random thing..watever comes..is all good..depends on mood shood too doesnt it?;oP hehe...)

anyway yeah..dozed off durin the match :oS..(i really thot i didnt eat that much for dinner!!!i thot i had cut down!tho i really wanted to eat more ;oP hehe..duh!didnt wanna doze off!!so was tryn not to eat much!sheesssh!!do i have to cut down more?:oS hehe)and yeah!freakn missed the holland vs ivory coast match!!arghhhhhh!!!!!was lookn foward to that match!!wat can i say!i have a thing for the orange!!!maybe cos they play good football?hehe..and nah its not me 'team'..i have another..which most ppl love to hate?;oP hehe..and of cos lots love it too ;o)..its all good..;o)

hah!now im thinkin to meself..wtf!i shud delete all this crap!!wahahahaaa..i mean there were some other things in me mind..i wanted to get out..but oh well thats how i always(most of the time?) seem to do it i guess..i end up 'talkin' about smthings else and be able to let out(forget) those other things that were keepn me preoccupied in me thots etc hehe..yeah dun read wat i type!!wahahaa..it doesnt make sense!!do i even try?;oP hehe..

and another funny thing(well i find it funny..im grinnin now thinkin about it hehe)..freakn hell!!..ended up wakin up at 5am(for nothn!!i mean didnt have 'plans' to be awake at 5am hehe .had hoped yesterday i be havin a nice snooze at that time..esp after watchn holland vs ivory!!which i didnt get to watch!:@ )and yet im still gonna be late (again!!!) wahahahaaha...wtf am i doin bhaney!!!seriously do i subconciously like to screw meself?:o| if i do..why?:o| cos its better to screw oneself then let another screw u?:o| ;oP hehe....

anyways day looks good..sun is shinin!!woohoooo!!!which means i will have more choices later..the more choices the better aint it?;oP...think dai will ask later if i wanna come for football..kick balls!!hehe...in the court..havent kicked for 2 weeks?or is it more?:oS..luckily i can 'blame' the weather(gloomy and wet and cold!:@ it was :oS) for me missin the chance to play football..makes me feel im not so screwed ..u know.. not that screwed enuf to try 'screw' meself ;oP hehe..

tho am thinkn of not goin..cos duh!Sacrifice!;oP hehe...well its me turn to clean the house..and if weather is fine tomorrow..we be havin our once a week trainin..which aint a serious trainin :oS..which i havent gone for a while too..due to weather and of cos INJURY!(had to mention that..who knows who is weird enuf to be readn this..could be me fellow frens/teamates or someone who will pass the 'information' to the dai/captain ;oP hehe..)plus lookn at it..kickn balls in the field..tht feels so much better playn in the court and tryn to score by hittn that one lone basketball post!!!

anyways decisions will be made later when time is due i guess..(i do seem to love to leave decisions making to the possible last min :oS )..but hah!suddenly i just feel a surge of u know..the MOOD!!i wanna go kick balls later!!!!enuf of coopin in the house!!!its always refreshin to meet the dais/teammates :oD....plus that topah might be comin too..since his exams over..so need to catch up with him too..

ok ok im gonna be late!wahahaha maha late!!:o|

good day!
(shud i submit this dumb shiiiit!!!wahahahaaa..might as well?esp since it helped me while away some time when i really felt like doin nothn?and nothn then sounded so much wastin of time!i mean wastin time typin bhakwash is better than wastin time doin nothn?no?;oP hehe)

hello world!!!(gettn out ni..and it feels like im goin out to the vast world out of me sanctuary ;o)..yeah suddenly ...at this moment i feel like im a brave human.. :$ yeah righ!wahaahaha ;oP hehe)

*gone*

   [ posted by anonymous @ 04:58 PM ] | Viewed: 1356 times [ Feedback]

why!:@ ;oP hehe..


*gone*

   [ posted by anonymous @ 03:35 PM ] | Viewed: 1341 times [ Feedback]

..oh fren is goin to another state in a week so he has that much dvds hehe..and i guess most prob i watched most(hopefully hehe)..but do wanna watch all those that i havent watched!another thing i wanna do ;o) hehe..

ok ok enuf blabbering ..hehe..

good day!a bit postive today!..ironically feel more positive cos saw someone 'suffer'?funny this life aint it?:oD

enuf talk!time to cook!..cook?hah!burn!!!burn baby burn!!(i be 'shoutin' that to meself..not shout shout!u know inner shout..when puttn things into the wok wahahaha lets see how bad they get burned today ;oP hehe..)

*gone*

   [ posted by anonymous @ 04:21 AM ] | Viewed: 1510 times [ Feedback]

I'm tired of all the people talking about religion. True that it helps lots of people have peace of their mind when in need. But religion is what causing the war worldwide today and is what seperates us all. I'm sick and tired of this whole melodrama. I know its not anyone's fault, its just me...but i can't take it anymore....errrrrr. There's so many other issues to worry about, and we have people who want to study "religion." Give me a break! Stuff that don't even matter. I don't know why i feel that everyone is faking? that they're not being themselves? that this whole world is putting on a show that I'm not aware of? or is there something wrong with me? I need help. any Nepali psychiatrists out there who would do a free couseling? ha ha...I need it reaL bad :p

   [ posted by Lovebuzz @ 05:49 PM ] | Viewed: 1524 times [ Feedback]

it will trigger avalanches of other 'memories' and yeah!i had told meself at the start i will try hard to not exceed 8.30pm..its 8.12pm now hehe and of cos had told meself i will complete this!even when nice thots comes!some thots that makes me wanna just wanna go lie down and think and feel...u know..put a warm blanket over u(which i have already done hehe) and just let thots/feelns come and engulf u?(yeah seriously do i have too much time in me hand!!and the answer to that!no!!hehe....lets not go deeper on that ..i dun wanna feel too guilty!;oP hehe)

anywys yeah woke up early and to think i thot(had dared to think yest) that for once i can sleep as long as i can!in this bloody cold winter!!!..but yeah after the match..it was such a nice weather to go a back to bed..but did i?no!!salla ultey!!!aphi kina tension dinu maan lagcha!i mean wat else am i doin!!!nahuney nahuney kura matrai garcha!!!but then again not goin back to sleep was worth it i guess :oD ..everything happens for the good?;o) hehe

well..since didnt go back to sleep..was too tired to really (hah!u know wat im doin?im playn the videos in the 'song playn in my mind' thread..hehe..didnt realise i had posted quite a few :oS hehe..and now..'bad days'..cos u had a bad day!ur takn one down!u sing a sad song to turn it all around..u say u dun know..u tell me dun lie..u work at a smile and go for a ride..u had bad day..the camera dun lie..ur comin back down and u dun really mind..u had a bad day..oops got carried away there hehe)

this reminded me of a song hah!..boys dun cry ;o) hehe..

anyways 4 mins left..and not like i ever will get to finish me blabberings..so yeah..the day was more than great here..how was it there?hope nice ;o)...

well i think it was nice for me..hehe..ended up talkn to a few frens after a while..which is always good eh?..wat will life be without frens?complete misery?hah!;oP

and yeah one more thing i hope i do remember..that i wanna do..read that book ..its called."life aint just ha ha hee hee" think i really need to read that book!!!wahahahaaha freakn had enuf of this 'hehe' mood!:@ yeah yeah tell me about the book!

whoa i cant believe it!!i actually am gonna post a shortie!!!aint it short?i hoppe so!:@ ;oP hehe...have hope ppl!and plus yeah i will stop here sooner than later ;o) its just cos u know its new ..as they say once the novelty rubs off..finish!;oP hehe...kinda not to awkward yet but it will be!!of cos!who freakn talks to oneself!:@ :oS hehe..

have hope ppl ;o) and someone start typin! and paragraphs plsssssssssssssssssssssss!!!:@ save me a bit of headaches!:@ :o( hehe..

*gone*

   [ posted by anonymous @ 05:52 AM ] | Viewed: 1530 times [ Feedback]

ok 1st thing 1st..
kinda was hopin that i get to read someone else stuffs here..watever they might write about..but oh well..as they say kabhi na..kabhi ha?(yeah loved that movie when i watched it ages ago hehe)but dun we think most of the time its always mostly na..and seldom ha?hehe..or is it cos we never do really realise the 'ha' things even if its right in our face?hehe

but yeah..let me carry on..there were times today i thot "hey i might be writing later if mood and time permits"..esp since durin those times..durin the morn..and the afternoon before comin home ..well wat can i say?the day always seems to start good with me..tho these days(its been a few days since it was 'officially' winter here)it been quite an effort to wake up..actually let me correct tht..been a mighty effort to get up and get out of bed. Wakin up is smthin that comes too easily..i mean wakin up at the wrong time hehe..u know before the alarm rings..there u go im awake!and i cant get back to sleep!..but just as the time nears when the alarm is goin to go off..wat do u know?im feeln so sleepy..or have already gone into dreamland!!yeah dreamland baby!hehe

cant remember switchn off the alarm today..u know..just one of those times..and it did take a while for me to get out of me 'daze' or shud i call it 'haze'?..before i realised wat the time was!!and yes!i had been starin at the watch for a quite a while!but didnt notice the time?cos the mind was smwhere..yeah!told u DREAMLAND baby!!hehe..and took another few moments to realise it was rainin outside..another hurdle..since i dunno where the umbrella is in the house..(oh im not the umbrella kinda person..dun ask me why!!i wish i could answer that!is it cos guys are supposed to be tuff?and not be scared to get wet?..i really detest carryn umbrellas!tho used to carry it in preparation for rainy days in my bag..yeah when i was young..really young hehe..duh!mum kinda forced me too!later alik baisa auda chai i just stopped and of cos mum just resorted to givin lecture hehe..no way could she force me hehe)

so in the cold..to walk to the bus stop(dyam me!can u belive it!still dun have a freakn drivin license!yes im tht lazy!!hehe..plus..i guess i kinda didnt grab the chance to get one when i could..when i had so much free time then..im a bad planner..i dun plan at all?..so yeah time is smthin that i just let it happen?to save meself feeln the frustrations of plans goin wrong?who knows..but did get a bike license then..and guess was happy scootin away on it..kinda miss those days..here its more advisable to get a freakn car!!the bikes are around the same price as cars!!or more!!!freakn hell!!can things get weirder!!!yes it can hoina?hehe..down here ppl who rides bikes are really biker freaks!!think i prefer a bike too..but then again im bias i guess..i mean i never drove so yeah..wat would i know about cars eh?..but yeah smtimes when i think of the past kinda am grateful im still here in one piece..u know we have times when we are bit more reckless than we shud be?the "I dont care" attitude?..there was that one incident(think it was the depression yrs..do hope smthin like that never comes..but future is not for us to see eh?..hopefully i 'learned' enuf from those yrs to handle meself a bit more..but yeah..thinkn is easy..i dun seem to have changed much..i mean in terms of tryn to help meself..ok maybe a bit hehe...

*brb fone* hehe

*BACK*hehe i really do talk to meself dun i?;oP hehe

ok the 'emotes' are comin out..i will try not to put those..thts the thing i dun really like about talkn with frens..they make u forget the mood ur in!!!the mood just vanishes away!!!arghhhhh!!!!:@ hehe

but yeah me being me..i always feel a bit better when i feel i finished smthin wich i started..u know a closure?dun we all want and long for that?..and guess wat?am back listenin to the songs i burned a while ago..cos i wanted to listen to them while i was typin..well didnt really plan to type..but..yeah..the mood is back!!well a bit diff..but still a bit similiar to the one that i had a while ago?..and that does kinda feel (dym wats that word!!!!shiiit!!its frustrating being a lethologic!!!and yeah i will forget even this 'lethologic' one day i tell u!!maybe i just did?but due to the magic of the the browsers these days which saves the caches..just type "l" in the dictionary and there u go..the word i had been checkn the past day hehe)

but yeah..kinda feels a bit comfortin in a weird way to know the mood tht was wit me a while ago..just didnt disappear..how can it just go away hoina?esp when the things(thats happenin in me life right now) that 'brought' the mood..are still around..and hasnt been resolved..dunno if they will be resolved..but yeah not gonna put more frustrations on meself..take it a day at a time!!WOOOHOOO!!in another words...it seems i cant be arsed and if i get more shiiiit!!arghhhh!!i deserve it?hehe...frustrations tho we dun like it ..kinda pushes us doesnt it?tho we do feel it kinda stops us?..oh well works both ways i guess...

so where was i?hehe..

if i fall back down...ur gonna help me back up again
if i fall back down..ur gonna be my fren..

it takes disaster to learn a lesson..
ur gonna make it thru the darkest hour..

some ppl betray and cause treason(tension?works too hehe)
we r gonna make everythin alright..

oops..dun mind me..was typin along with the song thats playn in the cd player hehe..own world ma chu :oD hehe..plus guess its a feel good song..

so where was i?hehe..yeah the mood has kinda disappeared again :oS hehe..lets wait for a not so happy song?hehe..

ok think this song will do..

so yeah skip everythin!!...i was talkn about today?..umbrella?..mero memory pani that bad chaina ni!just that it doesnt freakn work when its supposed to!!for the right things!!!!hehe

so ..yeah..walkn to the busstop..it was drizzlin..not that heavy..but then again in the morn..esp in the cold..urghhh...and hah!was wearin flip flops..kinda felt a bit numb..esp since the road/footpath was all wet..and if there were tilings..slippery!!and plus havin pants that is really long!!urghhh..kinda a nice feeln actually..u know to feel cold..and think of being in the house or just bein warm and dry..thats why im kinda really 'appreciating' being where i am right now?sittn on the couch..heater beside me ..to near me feet..so thats where im really feeln cold..as the most of the other parts of me body are kinda protected by clothes?...

*few hrs later*
hah!..cant belive i forgot about this again ;oP

anyways no idea wat i wrote up there!!yes another mood now!!:oS hehe..

might as well waste some dataspace!!someones gotta start?;oP hehe

*ahem*(close ur eyes and block ur eyes ;oP hehe)
correction...i need no direction..
let me go just one last time..
i spent my whole life searchn for direction..
let me go just one last time...

time to post a song playn in me mind eh ;o) hehe..

goodnight!:oD

*gone*

   [ posted by anonymous @ 08:44 AM ] | Viewed: 1522 times [ Feedback]

1stly...wahahahahaa..someone commented on the prev one?wahahahahaa...
anyways..u scare me expressionles_expression!!!well i mean to say..u did scare me with wat u wrote :oD

how hard we try to 'run' away?can we from reality?:oD hehe..reality is quite a bitter cup of tea eh?which u have to drink like it or not?hehe..thts where the sugar helps ;o)..a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down..the medicine go down..the medicine go down!:oD..(oh kinda cant forget this song not cos its from mary poppins..it was from that movie wasnt it?..its more cos ..i think it was me principal's fav song..she could sing!and she did sing a lot durin those flag raising ceremonies in the morn..or in some sch events etc..and guess durin the music class..it was one of the songs which was taught a lot..and well..the great thing about being young..u dun really care if u sound good or not..cos u have no idea wat 'soundin good' means?and u be thre shoutin along in unision..even the timid ones does?well i like to believe so even the timid ones do take part..as long as we feel part of it?..where there aint no one sayn.."oh u can sing"...or "or oh..u sound horrible..stop ur shriekin"..blah blah blah hehe

anyways yeah kinda meandered again..but hey thts me eh?

seriously im lookin foward to someone freakn typin some blogs here!!!cos i really am not in the mood to check/find blogs to read..even blogs that belong to me frens(will catch up on those later..when mood will come!!it has to come!!!hehe)guess im longin for smthin new ..but since im a bit lazy..yeah it be so nice if i could get to see smthin new here...i mean..u know!!san bro made this to be used!!i dun wanna hog it!!katti hogney!!!hognu ko lai ta khannu paryo 1st!!if i dun 'eat'/read anythn!!..how to hogney bhanna!!!atti hoina!!!!!?:@ ;oP hehe

yeah yeah..kinda love talkn with meself hehe..if u dunno wat tht is..try it ;o)..tho i dunno if it will work for u?everyones diff i guess..wat does it for me..might not with another one(thats smthin i think i learnt in the last few yrs of me life ;o)..yeah feels good to realise/think im still learnin ..and got the ability to learn?hehe..tho not everything :oD...ke garney budeskaal lagyo..as they say..u cant teach old dog new tricks?i mean in sayns there def is some truth to it..hoina?)

so where was i?wahahahah ;oP

time 2.09pm...

think i reached home around 1-ish..but yeah talk about mood!!!was it the weather?yes its gloomy now!!(it has been gloomy or rainin for a week or so now!!)and to think in the morn ..the sun was shinin..and it just seemed like it be a warm nice sunny day..esp in this cold winter?(i mean winter here aint as cold as some summer in the countries..but im talkn about winter being cold!as compared to the summer in this country!!not another freakn country!!let me whine in peace will u!:@ ;oP hehe)...

some say weather does get into u?guess some truth in there too?..but in the end...cant run away from reality?..dyam i was feeln so tired!!kinda even dozed off in the bus(hah!to think i nearly missed the bus..cos i was daydreamin wahahahaa...lucky for me i woke up from me daydream and the bus was a bit late too..nabha..waitin another 30mins added to the already 20mins i waited..plus with the tiredness and hunger..and the gloomy weather!hah!just sounds like a frustrating scenario?ok i better not type more about it :o| hehe)

but anyways yap had to come home..cos duh!being lazy(tho i cant get rid of the feeln inside that i do think it was an INGENIOUS idea of mine!!and not being lazy!!wahahahaha)didnt pack the bag yesterday night..(can u blame a person for being lazy to pack the bag..for football trainin..when the person had just had a heavy dinner..really heavy!sagarmatha jasto dhekney bhaat in the plate wahahahaha..and of cos in the cold night..urghh cold does make one lazier?..)so yeah i didnt pack..cos in some ways i thot it was better to come back home..and then head off for the trainin..(dyam i need the excercise!!tho it wont be much a serious kinda run out :oS..its not a professional team duh!!;oP hehe)partly cos...if i had left home ready and packed..i wouldnt have come back here..and would have tried to find smthin to do..before goin to trainin..most prob while away time..goin to the city?some bookstore?feels good to be around books..doesnt it?when those books are for recreational and not for exams!!!!duh!;oP hehe)

ok ok where was i?:oS

oh the INGENIOUS idea!!i didnt pack cos i wanted to get into a position where i had to come back home!!!the thot of being at home..the solace of the four walls..the comfy couch(too attached to it i tell u!!;oP hehe)..the warthm in the house..thanks to the heater!!!hehe..and of cos..peace!cos it aint crowded ;o)..right now all i know is there is someone in the house..upstairs..but i dunno which housemate of mine is that wahahahaa....so oblivious?duh!give peace!!get peace!!plus i do want peace right now :oD hehe..but im sure whoever the housemate is..he knows whos the one typin right now..in the livin room wahahahaa...urghh :oS hehe)

anyways just as i kinda had a feeln..which kinda is proven right :oS..there goes the bloody mood!!that lethargic mood!!that no energy to do anythin!!that mood to just sit down..be alone?..u know..arghhh!!goyo reflections!!and seriously speakn!!i was tryn me best to not type!!!i freakn hate being hyper!!i mean hate is too strong a word hehe..but u know wat i mean!!i freakn feel weird 'heheing' and findn even shit funny!!errr funny aint the right word for it..u know!feeln positive for nothn!!!!!!!!freakn smilin for nothn!!!!!freakn grinnin for nothn!!!!sacchi i try to put meself in another persons shoes and try to imagine seeing someone daar lagdo..walkn or sittn there by himself/herself and smilin/grinnin..kasto scary hoina?:o| well duh!wat scary!!when i see that!!i actually start grinnin too!!!arghhhh!!!sacchi!!pls pray for me!!!:o( hehe

guess wat?i just found out just now..(due to the magic of trivia?hehe)..i have the problem of lethologica!!!woohoooo!!at least i found out smthing today!!hehe..1st time im puttn the right word when i wanted to ;o) hehe..

la la enuf!!..i mean i do realise right now..i just wanna type and type away..takin the easy way out aint i?to forget reality?thats wat i like to believe :oD hehe..cos duh!i was feeln shit an hr ago!!so where did the shit go bhaney!!!cos i practically havent done anythin to get rid of the shit..but type some shit bhakwash here!!!!!:oS hehe..yap the shit is pilin up!!but where bhaney!!!ma pani dekhum all those shits that pilin on me!!so that i can see its so huge!!that i realise i better do smthin about it!!cos its HUGE!!(tho def less than tonnes of ppl out there :oS..duh!diff ppl have diff strength!!ur stronger!;o)..and maybe im stronger than some of u?urghh :oS hehe)...

sacchi ho!!!somoene better not comment on this!!i really wanna come back later and del it ;o)..cos i be thinkn later..wtf did i type again bhaney!:o| hehe..and most prob tell meself.."alik socheyra type gaar kukkur!!!gadda!!dimak chaina?" and most prob i reply to meself.."chaina :oS..seems like i dun have it..if not would i be typin all those stuffs?:oS" hehe...

la la....time to stop!better go eat!had forgotten im hungry wahahaha..sacchi this typin(talkin to oneself) is addictive bhaney!!!makes u forget reality!arghhh!!!and yeah most prob i do hope i learn to stop pretendin soon!!hehe..esto hyper teytikai hunda ..of cos its def me(subconciously?cos i dun think i try hard to feel like this :oS hehe)pretendin hoina?cos duh!!im in shit i tell u!!!:o| hehe..yeah who aint?hehe..

where has all the shit gone...ohh ohhh(typin along to that tune.."where has all the cowboys gone" wahhahaa..can only remember that part of the song :oS hehe)

reality..reality!aint it shit?so star hoggin!!here!!!hehee..i dun wanna hogney alone!!:@ hehe

dyam!!mero control ta bhakwash!!!bharai pheri aucha esto raag huney feelns and then i be telln meself..."see i told u ..control keta..control!!!dhekis teytikai dherai khusi bhoyeko natija!?" hehe..if only everythin could be explained?:o)..life would just be a lot better for the humans hoina?cos they are freakn curious!!jay ma pani kina answer chayo!!!kina bhaney!!!!!:@ ;oP hehe

dyam!i think im not goin for trainin!!hyaaa!!the clouds really look like its gonna open up any moment!!!...i need to get out of this house!!why?cos i feel like sittin here and think think think!!which i shud stop meself from doin?hehe..duh!go against the flow ni ;o)..test oneself?;oP hehe..but yeah when u realise u cant go against it?just go on with the flow hoina ;o)..stubborness leads to?drownin?wahahaha..well if ur swimmin against the currents..if u tire doin that..and later no energy to keep urself afloat?drown hoina?..unles someone comes and saves u?hehe...dhat testo hope ta..will drown with u?wahahahaha ;oP hehe..

ok ok now feeln more sane..i dun feel like submittin this wahahahaa....bhakwash ta bhakwash..wastin me own time is one thing..wastin another person time..and esp database space..which cost money!!!hehe..duh!!!i know i shud let them decide for themselves!!but arent we all nice?we wanna make it EASIER?;oP hehe...

wat was that hindi dialogue!!hehe..na baal bajey?smthin like that...if there wasnt gun..bullets will be meaninless?u cant shoot those bullets?just throw at each other wahahahaa (dun mind me 'wahahain':oS imimaginin the scence of ppl throwin bullets at each other right now..wahahaha..not cos i want to!it just came into me mind!!!intrusion!!!!mind intrusion!!!!:@ yeah right ;oP hehe)

ooops..had forgotten about this window wahahaha..wat did i type anyways?:o| hehe

anyways mood sood ta gone..tht gloomy mood..football pani gone(am gonna quit that one day anyways :oD..)..weather not so gloomy..shit!and i dared to assume it will pour just cos some rain drops were fallin?...

anyways..yeah..watever will be will be?hehe..hope i do grow up soon?:oD..more than now?:oD...woohoooooo!!:oD..i feel hope i will ;o)..sooner than later :oD..can we run away from reality?duh!;oP hehe..

sacchi katti bhakwash leknu sakeyko!!:o|

good day!:oD ..hopefully ur havin a better one than me :oD..if not..dun worry..we have shit days too ..u aint alone?;o) hehe..hopefully urs aint shit as one can think of?:oS...

dyam im hungry!:oD

www.hungersite.com anyone?;oP hehe..i just remember that site..feels good when i remember it and click on it hehe..if not urghh dun we hate for just bein too busy that we feel we are forgettn smthin there that we wanna do?or would like to do?:oS hehe..ok enuf bhakwash!hehe..

come tiredness come!!i know ur waitn ..cheers for waitn ;o) ..hope i didnt make u wait long re kya ;oP hehe..

(ps..to those frens who knows me..yeah read me nick!!sharrap!!and dun ask me!!yes u know me!!!its me!!!and dun be too scared!!a bit is ok?;oP hehe..i dun bite!!i will try not too!wahahaha ;oP hehe)
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   [ posted by anonymous @ 01:47 AM ] | Viewed: 1606 times [ Feedback]

ehe*

*gone*

   [ posted by anonymous @ 05:05 PM ] | Viewed: 1569 times [ Feedback]