Growing up, I always asked myself where do I really belong. I am one of those nepali kids who were born and raised outside of Nepal. I grew up in Singapore. I had a decent childhood but I always felt like a foreigner growing up even though I was born in Singapore.

I always felt like there was a barrier between my chinese classmates and I. Maybe it was because I couldnt speak their language or I was just feeling inferior. I dont know.

And when I go to Nepal, I do not fit in either. I feel like I am trying to adapt to a whole new culture. In Nepal, people talk a lot about the caste system. Growing up outside Nepal, I am more tolerant of different ethnic groups. There are so many major differences between the life that I lead now and the life in Nepal.

I came to the US at the age of 16 and in the future I hope to go back to Nepal to do social work/to help out but I am afraid that I wont be able to adapt to the life over there or that people in Nepal will not accept me for who I am.

I believe that no matter where I am, I am a Nepali first and then comes other stuffs. I hope we, the younger nepali generation, can work together as one and lead Nepal to a better future.

P.S. I dont feel like I belong in the US either so where do i belong....

Summer5,

I hear your frustration. It sounds like what you are looking for is acceptance. You want to be accepted in a certain identity.

I have experienced the same. My upbringing was complicated like your upbringing. And it brought about a host of problems and issues. And unfortunately, there isn't a lot of support for guys like you and I. We have to weave togethor our own identity from the experiences that we have gone through. It is very challenging. But I am always happy to meet guys like you because we speak a certain language that many other Nepalis don't speak. Maybe the children of many of the Nepalis who have gone abroad will speak this language, but the parents have a hard time relating to the sentiments that we express.

Actually there is a term that describes guys like you and I. It is called - A third culture kid

"someone who, as a child, has spent a significant period of time in one or more culture(s) other than his or her own, thus integrating elements of those cultures and their own birth culture, into a third culture."^[

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_culture_kid

Here is an article of a girl who expresses a lot of frustration and anger from going through the experiences that she has gone through as a Third Culture Kid:

http://www.worldweave.com/procon.htm#anchor5249130

I want to understand more of what you're talking about. Tell me more.

Hey BABAL Khate,

I have a few questions for you.
What do you usually say when people ask you where are you from?
Was your dad also in the army?
Out of a scale from 1-10, how nepali do you feel?

P.S. I didnt know I was a third culture kid but I hv always felt like a third class citizen/person.
http://www.[Disallowed String for - excessive promotions].com/2010/06/will-i-go-back.html
Read his story. He is also like one of us.

Summer5,

I don't have a problem saying, "I am from Nepal." I mean obviously it depends on my particular relationship with the person that depends on how much more detail I give to elaborate on the particulars of my situation.

No, my father did not work for the army.

On a scale of 1-10 I feel....hmm...not quite sure how to answer this. But one thing I realize is that there isn't just one sense of being Nepali. There are many different Nepalis. And in that sense, you and I don't have to feel excluded in being Nepali. I feel that people like you bring a unique voice into the Nepali dialogue. As you know, Nepal's national bird is the Danfe. It is a bird of many colors. And in that sense, you and I are like that. We are many colors. And by participating in the Nepali dialogue we make the Nepali identity more colorful.

Think about nations like the United States, India or France. There are so many ethnicities and so many different cultural dialogues fitting within those nations. So similarily, Nepal too has many ethnicities and cultural dialogues. I know what you mean. People like us seem more like an anomaly because we don't automatically fit into a 'pre-defined' category. But that is ok. Let us start a new category . What do you think?

I think that there are many Nepalis who fit in our category who are seeking out for one another. You found me. Now let's help others find each other.

As far as feeling a third class citizen, I understand. In some ways, coming from a poor nation, it is a double-whammy. And Nepali society can be a little close-minded so in some ways people like us are rejected by people of other nations because we come from a poor nation. And then on the other hand we are rejected by our own country people because we seem to not be 'Nepali enough' (whatever that means.)

I would have loved to read that link but sajha seems to have blocked it. Can you type out the name of the website please (without putting it in a link?)