Freedom perhaps is the most wonderful thing in this world. Who doesn’t cherish freedom? Sometimes, a sense of freedom can be felt even in the aftermath of a disaster or an emotional ordeal. A sense of freedom emanating out of worst of situations can hold as much significance, if not more, than the one out of normal circumstances. Freedom may come from smallest of things. But, the freedom I am talking about is the one from commitment. Ask bachelors why they‘re still single, you’ll probably be blessed with an hour-long, non-stop speech on the beauty of freedom, which, according to them, is taken away by marriage and commitment.

Of course, anything that can bring us joy is also capable of bringing us sorrow. If there is happiness, there is also a fear of losing that very happiness. It’s that inherent feeling of cautious optimism that downplays the best of moments. Why are some people so afraid of commitments? Is it because they run blindly after freedom? One might sacrifice some freedom by making a lifetime commitment. But, that very sense of loss is compensated for by commitment itself. When it comes to getting married, some of my single friends get really scared. It is not because they are against the whole idea of marriage nor is it because they don’t want the warmth of heavenly relationship. It’s the ‘life-long commitment’ part of the conversation that scares the hell out of them. I remember I used to feel the same when I was single. May be It was the fear of unknown—an unknown, that I was not officially trained to handle.

It is wonderful to be married. After experiencing all the happiness marriage can bring to a single person’s life, I now feel stupid for not exploring this joy a few years earlier. It takes time for us to realize what we’re missing out and when realization sets in, we find ourselves in a tug-of-war between ‘time’ and ‘options’. Craze for freedom (from what?), perhaps a false sense of vanity of being free, or a fear of commitment (another name for cowardice) eats up all the extra happiness one could’ve enjoyed, had s/he gotten married a few years sooner.


Single people usually have a laundry list of ‘goals-to-achieve’ before getting married. They say they are not ready yet. That’s because they perceive marriage to be too disruptive and destructive that it hinders all the developments and achievements in their lives. They believe that those goals can never be achieved after marriage. They often think they are so right about it. I was no exception. My friend Bishnu and his wife made the match between me and my wife. I was fascinated by their story of making our match. They said they felt a kind of satisfaction after bringing our two souls together. In pursuit of a similar noble cause, I happened to make a match between two friends. Bishnu was right. It was a beautiful feeling that comes after some great achievement. Making matches is a serious challenge, which may become addictive at times. An idea of running a matchmaking website came to my mind. I and my friend Vijay immediately started a matchmaking website. As free ‘e-Lamis’, we have our own challenges. But the feeling of being virtual matchmakers with the global reach is simply great. Since we started the website, Bishnu is left without a shred of doubt that I am addicted to matchmaking.

It is true that marriage is an important decision, which commands a careful thinking and a serious planning. Emotional, financial, social, personal, professional, and many other factors play a very crucial role in its success. Marriage is meant to bind two souls together and bring good things to lives. Not every couple is equally lucky. So, it is also possible that it brings some ‘not-so-good’ things to some people’s lives. A single person can always have some valid and strong personal reasons for delaying, postponing, or opposing this heavenly decision. But commitment phobia and freedom mania are just quick and weak excuses one can think of.

To all my single friends: gather some courage today to think about falling in love, making some life-long commitments, and getting married before it’s too late. No angel will come to your dream and tell you that ‘now is your turn to get married’. That was just a fairy tale your grandma told you to put you to sleep when you were a little kid. The most important thing is about seeing and seizing the right moment on your own. It is all about holding those hands and feeling that magic. Good luck!

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