Hello friends,

SummerFest is looking for a Nepali stand up  comedian? If you would like to submit your video please email us your link at info@neaplesesummerfest.com or post it here.

Thank you,
Nepalese SummerFest Team

there would be no family if they had not gotten laid

चाउरे तिमि जे बनेनी बन्नु तर कोमेदीतिर भने भुलेर नि नलाग्नु

हन यो नेपाल फेस्टिवलमा एउटा नया खेल राखौन

नेपालको पुड्केहरु सबलाई भिसा मिलाएर यता ल्याम अनि तिनीहरुलाई भकुण्डो हान्ने प्रतियोगिता संचालन गरौ . यिनीहरुलाई कोस्ले लात्ती हानि कति टाडासम्म हान्न  सक्छ भन्ने गेम राखौं

हन के छ विचार काईला?

हन चाउरे मेरो गुण्डा छोराले ए बाउ तैले कसरि आमालाई गेट लेद गरिस भनेर सोध्यो भने के भन्ने त्येस्लाई? त्यो गुन्डाले कसरि बुझ्ने कयामत से कयामत तक स्टाइल को लब स्टोरी?

Here's some more:
its funny how we learnt hindi. used to work at Haveli restaurant and part time at another gas station. Owner at gas station asked me< " business kaisa hai at Haveli,". i told him ," kaile kahi ekdum busy hota hai kaile kai makha bhi naii aata hai"

Wonder how you distinguish Nepali in America? If you cant decide whether he is mexican, chinese, indian, philipino, or from Laos? then he should be from Nepal. If that doesnt work, just go straight up and touch his adam's apple. if he tries to blow air on your hand, you got him!! he is gorkhali.

gunda timi lai comedian banne rahar cha? timro joke haru world famous in nepal funny cha...tyasaile ma timi lai hire garchu ani  nepali haru ko summerfest ma jhagada parda timro kaam chai joke bhanne. ani audience and fighters haru lai golveda ra anda chai badney kaam chai mero.  

chora le kasari get laid garyo bahnera sodyo bhane dekhai deu na ta yasari bhanera ani chora le ehhhh tyasto po getting laid bhaneko hami ta school ma tyasto kati khelcha kati bhanla ni feri

चाउरे तैले तेरो केटा साथिहरु संग खुब गेतिंग लेद गेम खेलिश जस्तो छ

हाहा हान हान सालेलाई नछोड

talai tyo game ko barey ma dherai jaankari cha jasto cha ni...la bhan ta bau kati jana sanga khelis

 Actually there were few incident during my fresh off the boat era.

1. Drinking water out of water fountain. It seems like people just bent down and the water comes. But when I do the same thing, there was no water... Reminds me of Nepal Khane Pani Sasthan ko Dhara.... Didn't realize there is a push button.

2. First day in class room in an American University. The Professor entered the room, I stood up... Good thing, I didn't say " GOOOD Morning Sir"

3. Of Course, this happened to my friend, who was in IOWA during his fresh off the boat era. "MY go to Toilet"

4. I will never forget my first visit to Subway. I pointed the picture to ordered a sandwich, thinking that was easy.
Subway: "What kind of bread?" 
(I knew only Nanglo Pauroti, and some other Pauroti. All looked same. At the same time I don't want to look dumb)
Me: "What kind you have"
Subway: Whole Wheat, .... Italian... 
( I could catch only Italian)
Me: "Italian"
Subway: "What about cheese"
Me: "What do u have"
Subway: "American, Swiss, Pepper Jack....."
Me: "Swiss"
Then comes the Topping
Me: " Can you put some capsicum"
Subway: "Excuse me!!!"
Me:Capsicum"
Subway : "Sorry, I didn't get that"
Then I have to point out the green pepper.
By this time, I was thinking why did I came here.
Then....
Subway : "Any dressing"
Me : " No thank you"


May be Mangale can script it better. 

talking about subway, one of the guys i know told the clerk to put cabbage on his sub, clerk was like that's not cabbage it's lettuce.

one guy went to McDonald's and asked for a meal, after pouring the drink he went back to the cashier and said "can i have pipe for my drink" as he couldn't find the straw.

one guy went to the convinient store to buy candies, got himself a candy bar and asked how much, clerk said " dollar ninety nine" the guy thought it was $99  and started an argument with the clerk.

chaurey NOT funny, keep on trying you might get lucky

yes my lord, you are the only one im trying to impress.

A Nepali guy, somewhere in DC, was in a parking lot trying to reverse. Unfortunately he hit a car with a old gentleman in it. The gentleman comes out of the car and motions to call the police, insurance company etc. The Nepali guy quickly gets out of the car and yells "Sir, Give me one last chance."

A Nepali girl has been advised by her Mom to be careful of the black folks.On her first day in class, an african american gentleman enters the classroom and sits besides her. While he's sitting, he accidentally also hits her desk. He goes "My bad..." The girl hears "My bag" She looks at her bag and goes "No it is my bag." ready to leave.

Few more:

I wonder why I don’t see any rear end or jugs in my gf ? I don’t know. Blame on Priya Rai.

I came here virgin & was stupid coz I paid her to lose my virginity. It should have been other way around.

As I work with my Indian boss lady, and amazed how the hell she got that rear end. She told me , “ Beta, yeh sab tumhare ghante ka kamal hai.” I don’t know what she was talking about.

The worst thing happened to me in America, chased by a stripper coz I was 2 dollar short for lap dance.

Wonder why they call it F1 status, coz you are the f**ked one. How about F2? F**ked twice!! coz you are being f**ked by F1 who is already been F**ked by USCIS.

Regards,
mangale

 

p.s. I think you better look for the stand up on the chair comedian. coz most of us are short.

Like an angry अरिंगल

A friend of mine couldnt find where they kept notebooks in Kroger, so he went to one of those sales person and asked," hey where do u guys keep your  कापी at?" he returned empty handed.

Whenever I start a job at dhoti's place the first thing I tell them is how poor I am at hindi. I tell them right upfront that I can neither speak nor understand Hindi. So every once in a while when he gets mad at us employees, he calls rest of the employee " madarchod" and me "stupid" :)

 Talking but fresh off the boat humor, there was this girl ... she used to use two hands one touching her wrist while serving food to students, very respective i guess. That always used to crack me up......