Marriage is an interesting subject to ponder about. Because it is so full of strategic behavior, understanding it can be very difficult but trying to understand it provides us with a lot of intuition on this tradition in Nepal. So, one day, during a coffee break in a KTM cafe, I pored over it, and jutted down some of my thoughts. Why not share it with fellow Sajhaites?

1.Mostly, husbands are older than wives. Since our population growth is positive, this means there are more eligible wives than husbands in the market, and hence the husbands are scarce commodities.

2. Suppose the quality of husband is uniformly distributed in [0,1] intervals. 0 denotes worthless husband, and one is the most eligible bachelor. Quality of women is also distributed similarly. Conventionally, men chose the women of quality index less than them. Assume the desirable difference as five percentage (this number pulled out of thin air). Then, the most eligible women (those above ninety five percentile) and least eligible men are likely to be unmarried.

3. Women's quality is more negatively correlated with their age than that of men. So, assuming optimum age of marriage for men is less than or equal to 30, and of women to be 25, therefore, women in top echelon are likely to be married in 25-30 years age span, if they are married at all.

4. Existence of dowry: Since from (1) above, at any point in the time there are more eligible women than men, men are more precious commodities and they command "dowry", i.e. to consume them, women (or their relative) have to pay.

5. Dowry is also proportionately related to the quality index: women at the lower index are likely to pay higher for men at the higher quality index.

6. However, if search cost of men is high, then women may pay high dowry for people whose quality is lower primarily because they don't know they could get better husband by paying similar amount of dowry(money). In Nepal, where is there is no organized matchmaking database, search cost is substantially high for women, and this results in higher rate of mismatch than in a free market with complete information would have resulted.

7. (Having a child) A combination of risk averse husband and wife is likely to beget children quicker than that of risk neutrals or risk averse. This is because they value stability high, and do not want to go out to the market looking for better options. By having children, they reduce their marriage quality index substantially, and make themselves undesirable in the market.

8. (Remarriage) Often, marrying once substantially reduce the quality index fo both groom and bride. This reduction is steeper for people at low quality index than those of high quality index. Remarriage is therefore likely to provide a spouse of considerable lower quality than the first one.

10. (Divorce of a spouse) A husband divorces a wife when he thinks total benefit of the wife for the rest of his life is less than total cost of staying with her conditional on the choices available to him.

11.(Murder) Murder is committed if divorce is not easy, and condition for (10) holds.

In jest. With no pretention of science.

ECONOMICS OF MARRIAGE AND MARRIAGES IN NEPALESE SOCIETIES
- Just started working paper by OK

(Note: comments are welcome !! ... Please do not quote without permission)


The marriage is a very emotional and even spiritual topic. Many people think that marriage is the social and personal secrete that has little effect in economic market. Saying in another way we cannot relate the marriage in economic terms and traded with other goods that give more satisfaction. However, the economics can be used to deal with non- monetary market sector for studying non-market behavior. The marriage in the society is one and important such issue which can not be marketed like other consumable goods but is highly influential for the economic market either in short term or in the long run. Generally marital patterns have major implications for population growth, number of births, labor force participation, income and ability of families and allocation of household resources, which are the major focal areas of the economics. It is voluntary one either the persons marrying each other or their parents, the economic theories of preferences can readily applied and the persons marrying can assume to expect to raise their utility level. Market competition is another issue. Many males and females compete to search their mates and a complete market is formed. Each person tries to find the best mate subject to constraints imposed by market conditions with consumption of household produced commodities (described later in detail). According to the nature of the problem, such competition should reach to the equilibrium state but it is hardly seen in some societies like in Nepalese cultures because of the constraints imposed by the societies with religious caste system. In some society, the new couple usually set up their own household where as in others they live with one set of parents. Of course, it is very difficult to formulate marriage theory for all similarities and differences in different cultures and societies but economic approach does quite well.

The marital patterns differ among societies and change over time in varieties of ways that challenge any single theory. If we talk about the types of marriage in Nepal, we can hardly find more than 2 marriage types. These two common types of marriages are arranged-marriage and love-marriage. The first one is dominating most of the marriages in Nepal in which parents of the possible couple are responsible to search, decide and arrange the marriage programs. The second type of marriage is also becoming more popular in Nepal in recent years in which the male or female starts loving each other prior to the decision to marry. Sometimes combination of these types such as love-arrange is also possible which is now best option for educated families with modern parents. In some society, especially in the western societies, divorce is generally common but in others it is not. In Nepal, divorce is rare, if not impossible in recent days and it is gaining popularity because of its legality and changes in the social concepts. Some societies in Nepal do not favor of divorce and widow marriage. Trial marriage, a marriage that is done in trial basis, is very far from us. In such marriage, if a male or female during their trial period of marriage looses more than gain (in economic term), then second alternative is free to search. Marriage years after living together, which is, very common in western and developed societies, is rare in Nepal even though some practices are on the way in recent days.

Contd...

The criteria of selecting potential mates is the rather challenge in Nepal due to marriage market environment. We have found in many parts of Nepal especially in Terai, males have strong preferences in property (Daizo) while in some educated family emphasis is for the education. Some people give their preferences to the beauty and handsomeness of their mates while others gives the priority to the status of the family. Many people claim that they marry for love. For girls, doctors and engineers were the main focus in the last few decades because of the opportunity of getting job and earning more money but now the condition is no longer the same and preferences have changed to the business people or lawyers or others. This shows that the preferences also change over time. Although most of the societies in the world are predominated by monogamous unions some societies still practice polygamy. Even within the polygamy, woman with several husbands (polyandrists) is less common than men with several wives (polygynists) because father?s identity is doubtful under polyandry. Although polygamy is not legal in Nepal we can easily see many families with one husband and two or more wives and we also have heard time to time that the brothers of the same family marry one woman in the mid and far-western rural Nepalese societies. There are 2 main reasons of polyandry households in Nepal. The first is the infertility of the woman (Nepalese societies are critical for preserving their future generations) and the other is due to only female birth. The third is Diazo and another also important is the Nepalese cultures which says to show that they are capable ?Capable and Courage man can have 100 wives?. Sex satisfaction is also the main cause of multi-wives family. But one major point to note here is that it is very rare to check without medical verification of fertility of the woman. If woman does not give birth for some time periods after marriage, she is blamed to be unfertile without medical examination. Nepalese societies are male dominated societies and are generally centered the male?s role. This is also now changing nowadays and practices of common understanding between male and female is increasing. More successful men are more likely to be polygamous and they are more likely to have relatively more children. This concept also applies in Nepalese context and the populations of politicians who can earn more money have more than one wives. Decline in the polygamy families in Nepal is due to the legislative restrictions. Laws against polygamy reduce the demand for woman, and thereby reduce their share of total household output and increase the share of men. Due to the mate search that is similar to the searched person is another reason of inequality on family income and distinct classes in the social incomes. The chance of marriage between poor girl and a wealthy boy or vice versa is comparatively low holding other factors of marriage constant. Sorting based on intelligence, race and height also increases the inequality among different families. The education also plays the vital role in social inequalities because educated parents are effective producers of education-readiness to their children. It has also affected to the existence of some societies in Nepal. The chance of a child death is more for the lower income family and this is the reason why Raute and Chepangs populations are decreasing and others are increasing.

Inter-caste fertilization and potential talents of inter-caste products are very few in Nepal due to the religious restrictions. The news from Nepal reports about inter-cast marriage difficulties and rejection of such couples from their parent?s homes. This is the main cause of few inter-cast marriages. Many attempts are being done in order to avoid such conditions but till date, the social concepts of intercast marriage has not changed yet and it looks like not changing for few decades to come.

Another important aspects of marriage theory are when to marry, how long to stay married, when to remarry if divorced or widowed. These are all difficult questions to answer. The early age of entry in the marriage market is either due to family pressure, sexual desires, desire of large number of children, the higher the expected income and the lower the level of education. For girls in Nepal, the marriage age is between 15-20 because of the religious beliefs and parents decisions to marry. The religious thinking of parents that they should marry their daughters before menstruation is the major cause of early marriage in Nepal. Once he or she enters the marriage market, he is expected to search until the value to him of any expected improvement in the mate he can find is no greater than the cost of time and other inputs for additional search. Since benefits will be greater the longer the expected duration of the marriage, people is search more carefully and marry later when they expect to be married longer eg. if divorce is not common for him. The general principle is that the people will marry early if they are lucky in their search. Early marriage contains generally lucky and pessimistic persons while later marriage contain unlucky and optimistic ones. The cost of search also differs greatly and optimal allocation of search expenditures.

Contd...

Marriage has both gains and losses. When two persons marry each other they share a common household. Each household produces many commodities though the production functions giving the input of resources, mainly time and money. Such produced commodities include among others, love, sex, quality of meals, quality and quantity of children, prestige, recreation, companionship and health status. Some outputs of the production function are not known beforehand, for example, sex of their future children, but some are quite known like time gain, which is simply the double, income gain that is the sum of the individual?s income. At the same time, expenses also increase. Many people complain about their freedom after marriage. Loss of freedom, too many children and too much expense than the combined earnings are the losses while love, sex (if satisfied), quality of meal and future generation are the gains. To summarize in economic term, marriage has both positive and negative impacts and it is also assumed that couple will marry each other if and only if they are at least better off after marriage compared to remain single. Love and other emotional attachments such as sexual activity or frequent close contact with the particular person, can be considered non-marketable household commodities. The effect of different variables such as personality, physical appearance, education, intelligence and likelihood of different persons loving each other has considerable effect on marriage. The definition of love is rather difficult to define but according to G.S. Becker, a well-known household economist, loving someone usually involves caring about what happens to him or her mate.
The marriage in Nepalese societies is a very complex issue and further researches are necessary for study the marriage market which impact more for economy.

Reference:
Becker, G. S. (1976). The Economic Approach to Human Behavior, The University of Chicago Press.

Sorry I was out of the reach of the internet. Interesting read, ok. I will be interested to read it when you are done with this !

"1.Mostly, husbands are older than wives. Since our population growth is positive, this means there are more eligible wives than husbands in the market, and hence the husbands are scarce commodities."

They sounds great! Maybe some of you Nepali females need to come to the USA and find a nice husband!! Im up for it! hehe! I wont even charge a dowry! All i want is your love!! (romantic huh?)

I aint gonna read all that shitt....but I am in favor of dowry system...

If a girl is not willing to spend a little money to make me happy she is not getting a piece of my heart, thats for sure....A girl must show that she or her family is able to financially support me and any children we get in future....If not, then she isnt worth my time...On one occasion, I even had to turn down a marriage proposal from this poor girl's family....Felt bad about it afterwards...anyways, I just hope her parents found someone in their economic class for her to marry...

yo kiddin mate.

There is nothing wrong with dowries. Me personally, I want my prospective wife to purchase me. That's right, the dowry system is basically business. In this case the wife is purchasing the husband. I ask for only a million rupees and a rope so I can hang myself if my wife looks like somebody hit her with an ugly stick.

Question for Kankai River: When u say "quality" what exactly do u mean? A girl who looks like Tyara Banks or one who has a DR. attached to her name? Or third, whose dad is very rich? Just curious. Interesting correlation, ever heard of something called causation? We need to do a lot of that in our psych. experiemnts.

OK interesting article there.

Andrew we need more guys like u!

Methodman and Nepali con, Nepali guys are getting a bad press guess why? Coz of few sick freaks like u two. Its amazing even with a broad liberal background university education, hasn't changed your mentality has it? Reading your writing I am guessing u both are high school dropouts.

It takes all kinds to make this earth!

Meera....

How does my wanting a wife who can provide financial stability make me a sick freak?

In fact, I bet you have the same mentality...you hypocritical money-grubbing ho...

Nice guess on the high school dropout, you retard....its amazing how much you know about me (insert sarcasm here)..

meera,

quality is an aggregate value. It is something that makes a women desirable. Like a lot of social science index, it can be vague. This definitely is not ,being Dr alone , or being a rich father's daughter alone. Notice that quality index lowers as age progresses. Of course, thoughts like these sound callous and rebellious, and even to some extent demeaning to women, but these thoughts are designed to understand the society in terms of theories of social science.

Hope that answers your question.

Meera you honestly need to look for an American husband. They will treat you so special! You must make sure you find a good man who is an American. We have a lot of respect for our females and protect them. Its up to the guy to provide for the woman in traditional american family values.

I think the dowry system is odd, but if I married an Nepali woman (which would be nice!) I wouldnt charge a dowry at all, I would be the one trying to give my WIFE money. But if her parents did want to give me a dowry out of respect for me then I would accept it, but I would not ask for it!

I dont see why a woman should support the man. That is for lazy men who dont even love their wives. Women and men have different roles in a family thats why we are male and female. You cant just make the woman cook for you, clean for you, give you sex every night, and then expect her to bring in the dough! Thats pathetic! You need to give back to your beautiful wife who works hard for you by getting a good job and buying her beautiful jewlry and taking her out on dates and pleasing her the way she needs to be pleased and show her tons of love and affection! You need to protect her and make her feel safe! After all she cleans your dirty underwear for you!!!

Andrew has a good point...

I will lower the dowry fee for those girls that perform the daily tasks he mentioned....If you cook food, clean my underwear, give me blowjobs, kneel at my feet, and worship me like a husband ought to be worshipped I will see what I can do to reduce the dowry you owe me...

In addition, I will protect you and make you feel safe as long as their is no imminent threat to my own safety, in which case, I am outta there babe!...I will buy you jewelry for the wedding and anniversary presents....as long as it is not too expensive....and you buy something for me in return----with your own money...

Meera you honestly need to look for an American husband. They will treat you so special! You must make sure you find a good man who is an American. We have a lot of respect for our females and protect them. Its up to the guy to provide for the woman in traditional american family values.

Yo Andy,
You must be fuggin blind. Have you even looked at the divorce rate here in the US ? Yeah they will treat you special by cheating on you. he he And what Nepali people have less respect for their female counterparts(or we don't treat them right ?). Its up to the guy to provide for the family ? Huh !! Go say that to the femnists and they will make a kabob out of you for dinner.

Bathroomcoffee brings up a good point....

Too often, I have seen American Men dispose of their Nepali Wives after getting bored with them..it is quite funny.

what i say about dowry???? hmmm...i say it's good if they want to....but if it is demanded...then i say.... gals don't need to give squat to guys (impressing purposes or otherwise). they should give it to gals i say....

Nobody cares about what the femminists think. They are ussually disgruntled lesbians anyway.

Most nepali women believe in traditional values anyway, so they want a husband who is a man, and the nepali woman wants to be the wife who is a woman. They both are suppossed to share equal work, just different jobs.
Not all American men divorce. Just because you think America is so unloving and everyone is so selfish in your biased mind, does not make it true for everyone. Every country has problems. At least most American men arnt sexist shovinest pigs who think women owe them cash on the spot for a marriage. As if the men DESERVES money if he will even THINK about giving his love. An American man who is a good person will provide for his wife and treat her special and love her unconditionally. He doesnt charge money. The money the parents give does help them start a good life together, and thats it. Its not a mandatory fee!!

I know there are a lot of good nepali men out there as well who arnt like what has been explained on this thread. But the fact remains there are more women in nepal then men so some women will have to go outside of their nationality and even outside their race to find a good man. So I just suggested Americans if they ever come across a good man of American nationality. We arnt all bad.

So I just suggested Americans if they ever come across a good man of American nationality. We arnt all bad.
.........................................................................................................
They can be the best...besides there is nothing good nor bad only the thinking makes it so. So we end up setlling with someone who shares our interest.

To rest of you i think you are building a castle in the air for yourself. Hope you will be able to live in it too. :)

Mr. Andrew bro.
'Most feminists are lesbians'. Is that what you mean? Sounds very absurd to me at least.
As for dowry. I hate it. I hate those who offer it and I hate those who accept it. It is my very personal opinion. Pls do not take it otherwise.