You know when someone says “that’s it…this is what i always wanted  in life”, i wonder how they can be so sure about what they wanted out of their life. Because i could never decide what i wanted, never even got a slightest hint about what i was looking for. Its just like walking down the road with out thinking where it ends, just walk and keep walking. It feels like who ever i look at, they seems to be happy and enjoying their life and then i look at my life; all of sudden i would feel like i’m missing something or someone. A big chunk of my life seems to be missing and then i usually plung into a kind of day dream, don’t know where it comes from but i guess that’s my kind of dream where i direct my life and i can make it whatever i wanted, stop it or pause it or repeat some incident if i feel like i don’t like the way it happened. Wow what a dream, yes i like the way it goes and i like the sense of control i get from that, even if its for few minutes. Then i come back to reality and things are completely different, life doesn’t seems what it looks like. Its different for everyone in this planet to think and know about ourself and about others, but why is it so hard to find the right choice; or do we even have a choice? Is it pre-determined? I mean life, seems like its predetermined by some master mind , some people may call it God but i feel like there is something which is controlling our life. No matter how hard we try, we end up with same old shit all over again and again. Remembering the past years is always a nice thing, childhood and all. As beautiful as it could be, past is always not so good, depending on the way it went, the incidents related to it. “Memories are good thing if we don’t have to deal with the past”, its a line from a movie, and i love it. I see a sutle truth in this line, sometimes we want to forget something but the thing hunts us again and again even if we never wanted to remember that again. We promise to ourselves that we would never ever recall it again but some where in the time, memories comes back. Sometimes we could just see how stupid we were in the past, the mistakes we make in the past. And again i feel like i want to go back to day dream again, control the things, change it a bit  and then life would have been so different. After coming out of day dream, its back to reality again, what is real? Would you choose to live life in dream if you never wake up or come out of dream again..?